SOA Protest/Vigil 2007

There is so much to say though difficult to find the words to use. The eight of us made it to Ft. Benning, GA and back in less then 3 days. Over the 2,000 miles of driving and intense sleep deprivation we managed to keep ourselves centered and focused.

I plan on doing some writing on the trip soon. I am still decompressing and working through all of the experiences in my mind. The weekend held many spiritual and profound moments.

I left not knowing any of the people I traveled with. I returned feeling a great deal of love and connection with them. It was difficult to be the one new person, as they are all already friends. They are in the MASJ program at Loyola/IPS while I am MAPC.....so, it was a little tense for me at first. However, I managed to jump in pretty quickly.

I hope to have some writing done soon. I also have to jump back into papers and reading for school. I had decided to press on with the trip to Kansas this week, and juggle the big term paper - but it looks as if though I will be staying behind anyway, seeing as Graham was not able to find anyone to watch the animals. Everyone I know lives far away or won't be in town. So, I hope to use that time to read and write. I am not sure how much I will get done today. This past weekend calls for some significant, deep reflection.

Photos from the trip

words cannot explain

how tired I am right now. I still have baking, laundry and packing to do. I am headed to GA in the morning with the IPS/Loyola crew. I will be sans email/computer access until Monday. So, have a great weekend friends!

http://www.soaw.org

a depeche find!

I thought I had seen it all. Back in the late 80's I was a Depeche Mode junkie. Long before the days of filesharing, youtube or even compact discs, it was a challenge to get your hands on everything your favorite band did. In Junior High Depeche Mode was IT for me.....I listened to other things, but as some can attest when I had a favorite - it was eat, sleep, breathe that favorite. I collected DM 12" singles with every mega mix, super mix, crazy mix (yadda yadda yadda) that one could imagine!! It was like an ongoing scavenger hunt for the next nugget. There was no internet back then, you couldn't just order that one you couldn't find from Germany or find it on eBay. You just had to dig through record store bins every few weeks and see what you could find. That was so much fun! I would fill most weekends with babysitting gigs to make money to buy more records.

In 8th grade, I had this collection of Depeche Mode videos that I rented from the mom and pop video store. I copied it with our double VCR hook up and watched it until it died. It had years worth of videos - but it didn't have this one!! I mean, if you watch it, you might think, "well it's pretty silly!" But all the rest of their videos were pretty silly too. I mean, crikey, People or People was filmed on a Naval vessel! huh? So, I am not entirely sure why it didn't make the cut on the video. But, I am pretty floored to find it now. I used to love this song! (warning: it is SO dated now)

Best part? The video makes me giggle.

good news

I got a call from the doctor today and the good news is that all of my tests came back normal. So, this is quite a relief! I still would like to know why I have persistent pelvic pain and discomfort, and will be calling the doctor to discuss further possibilities. But, I am so relieved that we have ruled out tumors and/or cancer.

In more good news....Graham was offered a permanent position at his job (no more temping!) with a promotion and a raise! This is fantastic news! This new position comes with a lot more stress and responsibility. So, he is a little unsure about it all. But, I know he will do well!

I got an extension on my research paper that is due on Tuesday, since I am going to the SOA weekend this week. However, I am panicking big time as I have a lot to read and a lot to write. Thankfully, I have gotten most of my other big projects out of the way and I can now focus in on this. It looks like I will have to spend a chunk of my Thanksgiving holiday in the books. I have considered not going on the trip to Kansas, but am not sure if that's the right decision. I have to admit that 6 straight days of nothing but time to read and write is very appealing. However, spending Thanksgiving at home with Em? We might get kind of cranky. So, we'll see.

Sarah tried on the first of the legwarmers today and it fit like a glove! I am so happy she likes is. I just adore her! :) I can't wait to get the second one done - but I will not likely have much time to work on it until after the big paper. It is too intricate to do in the car - I will get sick.

Yeah, I have piles of books to read and loads of knitting to do....I have two car trips coming up. One week I will be doing 12-13 hours each way and the next week 11-12 hours each way and I can't do anything in a car. This is a travesty. ;)

the health update

is that there isn't much of an update. I went in for an ultrasound today. The tech said that this doctor likes to follow up with her patients personally and I should expect a call later this week. When I have the info, so will you. Thank you to everyone who has been keeping me in their thoughts and prayers. The not knowing is a difficult part.

Peace.

sam cooke

Sam Cooke is one of my all time favorites.There are really no words for how I feel about him. To say I adore Sam Cooke is a massive understatement. He is so handsome, and his voice makes my insides wiggle.

Here is a clip of him covering the Dylan classic "Blowin' in the Wind". Enjoy!

almost finished

I have so much work to do for school, it's unreal.....and while I have gotten a few things done this weekend, I have been engrossed in this knitting project. This is the first of the pair - and all the fair isle work is now finished. I just need to do the cuff on the end, and that's that! I was just in awe watching this come together, I couldn't stop! I will not start on the second one until later in the week. I need to buckle down with a lot of reading and writing.....but, I wanted to share the joy.

fair isle

This is my first attempt at fair isle knitting. It was a bit difficult at first, but now I am really savoring the technique. There are a few things I will try differently on my second legwarmer of the set. I didn't carry the green properly for awhile so it peeks through a bit - but it doesn't bother me enough to go back and fix it. I will just do it differently next time.

I am really proud of myself for finally tackling this skill - I have been scared off by it for some time. I am addicted.

like a dark truck stop at 3am

This is such an atmospheric song.

By and far my favorite by Neko Case.

can you tell it's friday?

I always have trouble getting work done on Fridays. I am usually pretty beat from the week. So, I usually spend the day procrastinating....doing things like updating my blog, posting on internet forums and whatnot.

So, here is a photo of the pile of completed panels for the afghan. I will be putting it together soon!

mr. rogers goes to washington

In 1969, the US Senate had a hearing on funding the proposed Corporation for Public Broadcasting, but President Nixon wanted it cut in half for the Vietnam War.

This is worth watching in full.

In addition, do yourself a favor and read this fabulous article.

15 Reasons Mr. Rogers was the Best Neighbor Ever

This is one of my favorite articles I have read in recent weeks. I love Mr. Rogers.

your weekly youtube installment

It's hard to believe I first heard the Buena Vista Social Club for the first time almost ten years ago. Their wild success brought the sounds of Cuban Son into the lives and homes of people around the world. I was no different. I have to say that it also changed my life. I had always been fascinated by Cuba, but once I started listening to them - and other Cuban music - I was hooked.

When I graduated with my BFA in Photography in 2002, my mom gave me the graduation gift of a trip to Cuba with a group from a local university. I went with the desire to learn about the nation and photograph this exquisite place. I came back with a deep love for nation. I ended up spending the next few years of my life in grad school, working on an MA in History, Cuba being my major field. I returned to Cuba again in the summer of 2003. That's another story. Over the course of the two trips I have seen the island from coast to coast.

While, now my life has taken yet another turn - Cuba, the people there, the sights, smells, sounds and the history have left an indelible mark on my heart and soul.

catching up.....

October was a busy month! My classes are moving along. I finished a rather heavy assignment of writing a genealogical / analytical paper on my family's behavioral and emotional patterns. It was a long project, though fascinating. I am grateful for my parents being open to my questions and inquiries. I am now swamped with a term paper on feminist/cultural theories and psychotherapy. I have a gazillion smaller projects in the works as well. I am looking forward to Christmas break, though will be swamped with prep for my last MA exam in Cuban History - as mentioned before. So, not much of a break.

I am planning to be headed to Ft. Benning, GA a week from today for the SOA protest. I met the group I will be traveling with at a planning dinner. They seem like a nice group, and I am eagerly anticipating the trip and the action. I don't think I posted previously that our department (Institute for Pastoral Studies) is paying 100% of our transportation costs. This was fantastic news! We will be driving, and packed into a couple rental cars.

We have been having some pretty significant struggles with E. A couple nights ago we called a crisis counselor into the house, at the suggestion of her regular counselor. I can't disclose details, because of privacy. But, she will now be receiving in-home therapy/counseling and it is all covered by the IL State/Kid Care program. The crisis worker, Graham, and I decided that in-patient care was not necessary at this time - but they have wonderful care and opportunities for us to utilize. After the gentleman left at about midnight, Graham turned to me and said, "is this for real? that was amazing." And we both were so grateful for the care but also dismayed that it is care like this that the opponents of S-CHIP funding want to cut. E's care may prevent me from the trip to GA - so we are taking that as it comes. She comes first.

I am looking forward to a quiet weekend at home. The last few weekends Graham and I both have had things to attend. So, I plan on getting some reading and writing done. I will also be finishing an afghan I have been working on since September. I finished knitting it yesterday, and will be attaching the panels this weekend. I hope to have it shipped off to my cousin within the next week. It is so lovely - made from very soft Peruvian alpaca wool. I will post a picture of it when I get a chance.

I have started working on the fair isle legwarmers for my friend Sarah, and even went to a yarn shop for pointers. I will be picking those back up this weekend as well.

I have decided not to seek out a clinical internship with the YWCA in Chicago after becoming really disenchanted with their staff. As a volunteer victim advocate, I am really dismayed by their lack of organization and respect. I was also quite frustrated with the attitude of a lot of the women present at the staff in-service last week. The bitter, self-righteousness and lack of empathy for people surrounding the clients was disgusting. It doesn't appear to be a very nurturing environment. The YWCA in St. Louis was another story altogether. I loved working with them and wish I could do my clinical work there. It is that work that brought me to the point I am at today, in school. So, I am wide open as far as internships. We will be doing some site visits within the upcoming months. I am open to diverse ideas and places. So, we will see what comes of it.

Ultrasound on Monday - I have done a pretty good job of keeping my mind distracted and busy. Any news will be posted.

Peace.

if only this could stick

it's long - but just catch the first minute or two.

ouch

After a couple months of persistent pelvic pain, I finally got to a doctor. Much to my dismay, the doctor could not give a diagnosis or any advice as how to relieve the pain. However, I was told that my uterus is enlarged and I have to go back next week for an ultrasound to look for possible tumors.

Needless to say I am feeling a little scared and unsure and hope that a. it isn't cancer and b. whatever it is (if anything) it can be taken care of and leave my reproductive organs in tact.

I had a rough weekend, left alone, with my mind racing, unable to sleep and feeling quite ill. I am not in the best of spirits, but am trying to stay busy. I am feeling a little lonely these days.

Prayers and love appreciated.

three of my favorite things

fall colors, yarn and coffee.

bliss.

your weekly youtube installment

It is officially autumn in Chicago now, calendar wise - but the days have been heating up into the 80's which leaves me pretty unsatisfied. I am aching for cool days, candles, pumpkins, sweaters, jeans, fuzzy slippers, and apple crisp.

So, in order to get into the mood, I have been sitting here trying to think of my favorite autumnal song.....most of my favorites hearken back to high school, when fall really signified a change in the year.....the new wave favorites of my high school years stand out: The Cure, Echo and the Bunnymen, Depeche Mode, The Pixies, The Smiths....however, the Morrissey album Viva Hate really stands out. It was my favorite album in the fall of 1988. I can smell those days in my mind, and it only take the opening bass line of this song to whisk me to that time and reminds me of the shorter, colder days that I always long for.

The Smiths are my all time favorite band, though I have been lukewarm to Morrissey's solo stuff post Bona Drag. But Viva Hate? It's likely as good as any Smiths album.

I think I am going to have to add a second video here......one of my other favorite bands...... *sigh* I can never hear this song too many times. While this was a band I liked a lot in high school, I rediscovered them in grad school and this song really resonated with me as I watched a dear friend of mine suffer greatly and struggle with cancer. This song really spoke to me about the fragility of life. I remember a cold late night driving from my friend's house after he had a new round of chemo.... through the country, full moon in the sky, windows down, this song blaring.....beautifully cathartic.

awesome!

I found this on Crooks and Liars - an old Squirrel Nut Zippers (one of my favorite bands a few years back) song, reworked for the this last election......

nice.

happenings

Wow, it's been a crazy couple of weeks! Though, I do mean crazy in a good way. We have been very busy but not overwhelmed. So, this is nice. As noted, we participated in a press conference touting the S-CHIP funding with Sen. Durbin and Rep. Emanuel on Saturday at Children's Memorial Hospital. It was pretty surreal. I did manage to get my statement read, with some anxiety, but was able to control my nervousness pretty well. Sadly, I was not quoted in the paper,
but it was still a worthwhile experience.

Yesterday, after church, Graham and I spent the afternoon baking bread and cooking up a pot of vegetarian gumbo. We then took it over to a local homeless shelter for vets. This was our first time doing this, and we are planning to make it a monthly activity. I would love to do it more often, though our finances are tight. So, cooking for a group of people is tricky. We got creative and made a large meal at a minimal cost. We had an absolutely delightful time. Sandra, from our church, joined us for a little while and brought veggies and dessert. This shelter is a transitional, long term shelter - not an emergency shelter. So, the guys there live there for a significant stretch of time. The men we met were fantastic. They went out of their way to make us feel comfortable and welcomed us with open arms. Admittedly, I did feel quite at home! After dinner, one of the residents took me on a tour of the house and then a few of us played catch in the back and then sat chatting until well after sundown. It was a beautiful night and you couldn't ask for better company. When we left I couldn't think about anything execept how much I wanted to go back. I really treasured our time there, and look forward to going back in a few weeks!

I am going to attempt to make afghans for each of the men at the shelter for Christmas. I may reach out to some family and friends and see about donating some yarn I have chosen for the afghans. The cost adds up, even for one afghan. I have decided to only knit with real fibers, and no more synthetics. I figure if I am going to spend hours on something it should be a pleasant, tactile experience. Plus, it is a more pleasurable item for the recipient. I found a great website that has real fibers at a decent price.....so, I may see if some people may want to pitch in. I spend most of my Metra rides knitting, and use it as a very quiet, meditative time. I love it. I actually look forward to my commute. I wonder how many people can make that claim. :)

Graham and I have been plugging into church. We are now in a small group and I have been doing Doxa Soma classes. We are also trying to link into some peace and justice groups through church and in the area. They are linked anyhow. There is a huge anti-war demonstration on the 27th, which we will be at. So, a lot going on there.

Loyola continues to be a fantastic experience. I love most of my classes, and adore all of my classmates. We are an eclectic, energetic, enthusiastic (wow...a lot of "e" adjecitves) bunch. I really look forward to seeing everyone every week. I think I am enjoying the Behavior and Development: Family Therapy class the most. I adore the theories and methods of Satir and Schwartz and can't seem to get enough. I keep digging for more information. In my methods/theories class I am already digging into texts about Feminist Psychological Theory for my big term paper.....Gilligan, Chodorow, etc......love love love it. As I mentioned before, I love my commute, I love being downtown, I love Loyola and I am even becoming a known face at a specific Starbucks. I wonder if the folks at my old Caribou miss me. ;)

Speaking of Caribou - I am looking to postpone my 3rd MA exam until early January. This way I can concentrate on nothing but prep work over Christmas break. Yeah, a vacation would be nice - but the prep work isn't getting done now, with all of the work I have to do for my program. So, I think this is the best move. I haven't cleared it with my prof, but I hope he is game.

It looks like I do have a shot at going to the SOA protest at Ft. Benning, GA in November after all. I was told by student ministries that they were only taking undergrads. Disheartened, I gave up on the idea. I have wanted to do an SOA protest for years, but thought this would also be a great opportunity to link into the activist community on campus. Then, last Friday, in the IPS newsletter, there was an announcement for IPS students who may be interested in going. Needless to say, I jumped at the opportunity and am on the list. I am still not sure of the cost, time commitment, etc......but for the time being, it looks like I will be going.

Time to hit the books - I think that's all the news that's fit to print.

Peace.

your weekly youtube installment

this is from a television show I have never seen.....but found this on a blog I read regularly: Racialicious

my statement for the press conference

Hello, my name is Katherine Stewart. My daughter, Emily, is 13 years old. Earlier this year, Emily was diagnosed with a disorder that affects her behavior at home and her ability to learn and perform well at school. We had no insurance coverage at the time of her diagnosis. On the initial trip to the pharmacy, I was shocked to find out that the cost for a month’s worth of the medication prescribed was more than $400. I had no idea how we would pay for such an expense. I left the pharmacy empty handed and distraught. Like many working families, we have found it difficult to acquire affordable, comprehensive health insurance. Thanks to the Illinois All Kids program, Emily now receives the much-needed medication and her health and functioning has improved.

I am dismayed that the expansion of SCHIP funding is in jeopardy. I hear many politicians talk about family values and moral imperatives, but their actions don't seem to add up. When it comes to valuing life and family, I can think of no cause as important as insuring the health and well being of our children. I am grateful to people like Senator Durbin who are working to get my child, and your children, the care they need. We must not stand idly by and allow this legislation to be torn apart or compromised. I encourage all Americans to stand up, for the well-being of our nation and our future, and demand that this legislation be passed. Thank you Senator for inviting my family and me here today and for giving me a few moments to speak. Thank you.

speak your mind, even if your voice shakes

We were called by both Governor Blagojevich's office and Senator Durbin's office and have been invited to give a statement and participate in a press conference tomorrow with the Senator and Rep. Emmanuel regarding the SCHIP program and promote health care for our nation's children!

We are going to craft our statement tonight.

We got in this position because I wrote a letter to the governor a couple months back, thanking him for his support of the All Kids Health Care program and told him Emily's story. Graham said, "wow, it's nice to know someone is reading those letters you send!"

I can tell you this much - our representative (Peter Roskam) would never in a million years invite us to anything, nor has he (so much for those open town hall meetings he has touted on national radio)....I guess protesting the war outside of his office doesn't endear us to him - nor all of the angry letters.

I am really excited to be invited to this - but also really nervous - wow.

migraine land

I am pretty pleased with myself.....today, while toting a migraine along with me, like a bag of hammers, I managed to get a lot done.....

--laundromat

--cupcakes

--mopped the kitchen

--cleaned the living room

--talked to the neighbors

So, yes....I deserved that Starbucks latte.

today

we went to an anti-war rally and march at a park out in the boonies…..there were a few bands and some speakers. We then walked with signs to our Representative’s office – that of Peter Roskam (groan).

It was interesting to see the reactions of the passersby – some honking with delight and waving, others with looks of disgust…..and some spewing nonsense…..

“learn your history!”

“support the troops! support the troooooooops!”

“Iraq should be a parking lot!”

This last comment made me really sad and I just can’t believe there are people who actually believe in statements like that.

It was nice to be with a group of likeminded people, and taking the message into the heart of oblivion country where people are so wrapped up in their own lives and think that life doesn’t exist outside of strip malls, Macy’s and Fox News – hence the many confused, twisted faces of passersby.

There is a large demonstration downtown Chicago on October 27th and Graham and I are planning on being there. I will post info about this when I have more. I know it is starting in Union Park and will move proceed downtown.

Peace.

i think this may be my new favorite band

looks like a must read

I am a big fan of Naomi Klein's work and I am looking forward to her new book with great anticipation. It is refreshing to see someone take the Chicago School/Milton Friedman to task for the horrors inflicted upon the globe because of their inhumane economic theories and the policies which have emerged.

I have always been fascinated with the issue of fear, and the use of, in politics and economics.

This should be a gripping, intense read.

we can't let this happen

found on crooks and liars.....

Numerous reports, including most credibly one in The Times in London (owned by Rupert Murdoch's News Corp.), suggest that a plan has already been laid out for a three-day massive bombardment on over 1200 targets in Iran, which would attempt to destroy not just that country's nascent nuclear processing capability, but also its government, communications, and military facilities, essentially leaving the country of 70 million a smoking ruin.

Such an attack, with no international support, no UN sanction, no threat, imminent or otherwise, and no provocation, would be, pure and simple, a war crime of the first order. It would also put the US at war, not just with Iran, but also with virtually the entire Islamic world.

...

The shocking thing is that even though all the signs of a Bush attack on Iran are there, including the build-up of an unprecedented Naval armada, armed to the teeth, in the Persian Gulf and the Arabian Sea, nobody in Congress or the American media is talking about this looming crime and imminent disaster. Most Americans are blissfully unaware, even though people in the military are watching it all unfold in horror.

In 2002, Bush illegally diverted billions of dollars Congress appropriated for the war in Afghanistan to a covert build-up of troops and weapons in the Middle East for an attack on Iraq. Now the president is asking Congress for another $50 billion for the War in Iraq, which he will almost certainly be diverting to the attack on Iran.

The pathetic Democrats in Congress, who already handed Bush $120 billion a few months ago for continuing and escalating his epic disaster in Iraq, are likely to grant him this new king's ransom to finance an even worse disaster in Iran. If they do, the blood of Iranians and Americans will be equally on all their hands.

The clock is ticking. The only thing that could prevent this Crime Against Peace by the president would be for Congress, as one, to vote to rescind the 2001 Authorization for Use of Military Force, which Bush has claimed authorized an unending "war on terror," and which will be his justification for attacking Iran, and to begin impeachment proceedings against the president and vice president for conspiring to violate the Nuremberg Charter by attacking a nation that poses no immediate threat.

Stopping this crime will require concerted mass action. Meanwhile, every American should contact their representatives to demand action (to reach your Congressional delegation, call the Capitol switchboard at 202-225-3121).

You're Watership Down!

by Richard Adams

Though many think of you as a bit young, even childish, you're
actually incredibly deep and complex. You show people the need to rethink their
assumptions, and confront them on everything from how they think to where they
build their houses. You might be one of the greatest people of all time. You'd
be recognized as such if you weren't always talking about talking rabbits.


Take the Book Quiz
at the Blue Pyramid.

holy sentence structure batman!

Apparently I am not the only person in the world who thought that Teen Miss SC had the chops to run for president.

Lolita's Closet

A couple weeks ago I posted about the vile shirts Emily and I saw at the mall - I am glad to know that I am not the only one who is aware of the growing negative and destructive messages being sold to our kids. Here is a good article I found on Slate.com.

this woman is going to be president

your weekly youtube installment - pt.2

Alright....so, I have been having a little too much fun weeding through youtube this afternoon. Here's a gem...I have never been a HUGE fan of the Jam. It seems most fans of The Jam are dedicated obsessives. I have always appreciated them, more for what they were than anything they put out - if that makes any sense. However, there is one exception.....



This song reminds me of my time in England in the late 90's....my housemate in Salford was a diehard Weller/Jam fan. It was a song that was part of my life soundtrack at the point in my life, and it is just so....so....British! It reminds me of cold afternoons in the Salford and Manchester council houses.

and let's just be honest, this is one of the greatest songs.....EVER.

that's right it's time for your weekly youtube installment

I first heard Fuzzbox is probably 1988. I loved their distorded, fuzzy guitar sound and their sassy female vocals. I was pretty taken by their album cover:
Their punky hair and crazy clothes were intriguing and daring - or so I thought at the time. They intimidated me and I thought, "wow, I could never be as cool as them."I had forgotten about Fuzzbox by the time I was 16 and a Junior in high school, when my friend Kati pulled out the tape one day in her car. It then became a staple again amongst my friends in Nashville. Many years later I wanted to hear it again. Out of print and hard to find, I finally picked it up on eBay on vinyl. I don't even think that one album is on CD, though you can get most of those songs on other collections.

I was thinking about them last week and did a youtube search and came across this video for one of my favorite songs they did, "Love is the Slug". It always seemed to be the song that defined their sound. It sounds pretty dated now and the video projects an image of them that was very different than the image I had of them in my head, as a young teen. Here, they come across as very poppy and bubblegum-ish. Essentially, they were a bubblegum post punk group; kind of like a Go-Go's with big hair. However, when I was young, I thought they would have been hard edged bad asses - and they come across as kind of ditsy and lame in this video. Ahhhh well.....it's still fun to look back.

time flies when yer stuck on the outer drive express

Wow, this week has flown by! I have had an interesting and exhausting week. It has been difficult getting used to a new schedule. Getting up at 6:30am is not my bag. So, it is going to be a challenge to get a new schedule in place, and give much needed time and attention to rest, health and care.

The commute from door to door is about 2 hours. I am trying to readjust my attitude towards it. I have generally considered commute time as a part of "work" and I am trying to think of it more as a time of "leisure." I have time to read, knit, listen to podcasts, and relax. I am still trying to find the best way to get from the Metra station downtown to work and back to the station. So, it's going to take a little while to knock the kinks out of my routine. The Outer Drive Express bus broke down three times while I was on it on Wednesday and yesterday morning I waited over 40 min on Michigan Ave for one to arrive. Very frustrating. I may just stick to the Red Line and have a little extra walking in my day - which is a good thing!

I know some of the work will be a bit dry, but some of the materials we work with are fascinating.

Above is a photo of Mollie West. She is fascinating. That photo was of her on her first trip to Russia, at a labor union rally/demonstration. She emigrated to the US from Poland as a child, was politically active at the age of 12, and a member of the Communist Party into the 1960's. Most of her items and paperwork have been catalogued, however there is an addendum yet to be processed and I am going to have the honor of working with it. I am very excited about this. I will share more about Mollie as the days pass. She is still alive, though in her mid nineties. Beth (my boss) and I have talked about going to meet her. She is in a nursing home just down the way from Loyola. We aren't sure what the proper protocol is, but we would like to visit with her and enjoy some of her company. Beth wasn't sure of her lucidity these days, but maybe we can try and visit sometime soon.

I enjoyed a quiet day at home today. I plan on relaxing as much as possible over the weekend, but have an orientation at IPS tomorrow. I am looking forward to it. Next week will be my first full week of both work and class. It's going to be a challenge, and I hope to be in a good routine within the next few weeks, so I am better able to enjoy my time at home.

your weekly youtube installment

I still listen to the B-52's on a regular basis - though if I hear "Love Shack" one more time my brain might explode. Oy, I always hated that song. They were a staple in Jr High and into high school.

You just can't deny the energy and greatness of early B-52's. I thought this would be a fun Friday video.

DANCE!

god save the queen

Back in the summer of 1977 I was only 3 years old. So, it wasn't until the summer of 1987 that I first heard the Sex Pistols. I remember being enthralled with the simplistic, grinding guitars and the snotty vocals.

As a pretty sheltered 13 year old, I had no clue what I was listening to in any sort of cultural and social context. It wasn't until years later that I had any real appreciation for them, even though I had always been attracted to and in awe of them. There is something about the Sex Pistols, like a trainwreck. You just can't look away. Of course the demise and tabloid life and death of Sid Vicious and his girlfriend Nancy Spungeon was all a part of the circus and the fascination.

While nowadays you can see Sex Pistols teeshirts and records in stores in the mall, and most music purists just write them off as a cultural oddity with no talent or lasting meaning - for a moment in time, they stepped out of the matrix, and meant something and said something that challenged a nation. For a moment, they were a voice for the discontented working class in the UK and a symbol of unadulterated, chaotic youth. Of course, that moment was fleeting, the circus came, and it was over.

I remain fascinated by the Sex Pistols. While "God Save The Queen" is not my favorite song by them, I believe it is the one that best represents that moment where they created a spark and gripped the nation. If you ever want to watch a fascinating documentary, even if you aren't a fan, pick up The Filth and The Fury. It is a great doc about the rise and fall of the Sex Pistols and puts them in the cultural and social context, which is key to understanding them and the UK in the late 1970's.



It's funny to think that the Sex Pistols were indeed a piece of the formation of my political and social consciousness as it was developing in my early teens.........

Enjoy.

and the winner is.....

ME! I got the call late this morning that the position is being offered to me, and I accepted! I will be starting next Tuesday. I am kind of freaking out with this last MA exam hanging over my head, as I am not sure how I am going to find the time to do everything. But, I will do what I can. Work it!

I have been checking the train and CTA schedules and it looks like it will be a long, but do-able commute. I hope to be able to utilize that time to study as much as I can.

So, for this next week, I will be cracking down on studying for the 3rd exam. Then I start next week at the archives. I have an IPS open house the following Saturday, and then start classes the next Tuesday. So, wow, it's just crazy how this has all fallen into place so quickly! It's funny how fate works sometimes. I was bummed about not getting a departmental assistantship at IPS, but now am getting something even better! And to think just a few months ago I was totally miserable, working in a cube at IVP - and now I am going to a fantastic program at Loyola and have a drop dead awesome assistantship to boot! Happy dance!

Here is where I will be working: Women and Leadership Archives

and this is the beautiful building I will be in......

today's the big day

I should find out today whether or not I got the assistantship I interviewed for. I am giddy like a schoolgirl, nervous, excited, but also relaxed. I really want this position, we REALLY need the money and it would be a fantastic experience. However, I am concerned about the amount of time left for me to do homework. I would be working on MWF and in class T/Th. I could make it work, but it would be difficult. Add on my rape crisis advocacy responsibilities, and would I ever be home? I would have to find a balance.

So, I am sitting tight, hopeful that the woman I interviewed with does in fact pass down a decision today. If I don't get it, I am okay with that. Like people who in the running for an Academy Award say, just being nominated is an honor. I was one of three finalists for the position out of over 100. So, that is quite an honor and makes me feel good. Over all those years of job searching in vain, it's good to know my CV stood out for once.

Anyhow, I will post as soon as I hear anything..........pins and needles.....pins and needles.......

leather pants

This could very well be my favorite U2 song, and one of my all time favorite songs. I love this video because....

a. They are so young

b. Bono has on leather pants

c. Bono does a great Mick Jagger impersonation.

d. Bono does this really exaggerated lip syncing, which is pretty hilarious.

e. This is just an amazingly simple and profound song.

Enjoy.

what did that say??

I took my thirteen year old shopping today for some back to school clothing. We set ourselves a budget and hit *gulp* the mall. The mall is a place I avoid at all costs - but this was her day, her choice, her clothes. Emily is into the alterna-trendy stores like Hot Topic and Zumies. These stores sell a lot of the same gendered ideals as do the Aeropostales and Abercrombies of the world. I have issue with a lot of it, but it's hard to escape. Instead of pastel colors and hyper sexualized messages everything is black, red and hypersexualized.

I remain firm on my rules about no teeshirts with words on them, like "I'm a Princess" etc. A band tee shirt, I can live with - little designs, etc - sure. Well, I was in for a shock today as we went into Spencers. Now, I know this store has always been tacky, tasteless and ridiculous. But when I was a kid, it was all about fart jokes and hunky man birthday cards. Now, they have a video playing in the store about how to pole dance. Did you know that pole dancing is the new face of female empowerment? I am not kidding. They actually use the language of empowerment to talk about acting out stripper fantasies. Crazy. Emily and I talked a bit about that and what it means and why I find it to be troublesome. After reading the book Packaging Girlhood, I decided to attempt a more Socratic approach in discussing these cultural atrocities with Emily.

Well, back to the tees.....I am at a coffeeshop......I was going to find a picture of one of these tees I am talking about, but lo and behold, the Spencers site is blocked here due to sexualized content. Well, I can't remember off the top of my head all of the ridiculously unhealthy and derogatory messages being sold to girls to plaster across their chests - but besides the sexual and aggressive messages I have seen before, I was pretty taken aback to see a slew of tee shirts glorifying binge drinking!! One said something like, "I don't leave until I hurl" and had an image of a pitcher of beer on it.

The culture being sold to young girls and women today is so vile and so ridiculous - so, what's next - binge drinking as empowerment? I am young, I am free, I am woman, I am empowered - watch me drink and strip. Yeah, that's progress. :(

now, every kitty can be a hello kitty!

Does this constitute cuteness or possible animal abuse? The jury is still out.....but, do you think this would do wonders for our cat Tommy's self esteem or send him into new depths of anxiety and fear? Would he parade himself proudly or send out helpless cries of despair from his corner in the closet he likes to sleep in?

Part of me wants to get this, just to get photographs of our bewildered cats wearing them - then again, I don't really want to spend the money on something that will end up in the AmVets giveaway box within a month. And on that note, I wonder what some random person, finding this in a thrift store, would think of it.

a happy video for a really cruddy friday

Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us. We ask ourselves, Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous? Actually, who are you not to be? You are a child of God. Your playing small does not serve the world. There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won't feel insecure around you. We are all meant to shine, as children do. We were born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us. It's not just in some of us; it's in everyone. And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others.

--Marianne Williamson

oh kirsty

When I was a sophomore in high school, I was a Smiths FANATIC. I ate, slept and breathed Morrissey / Marr / Joyce / Rourke. So, after they broke up I kept up with all of their projects. In 1989, Kirsty MacColl, who did backups on a few Smiths tunes and who herself covered "You Just Haven't Earned It Yet Baby" on the She's Having a Baby Soundtrack put out her solo effort, Kite. Smiths' guitarist Johnny Marr played on this album, so I picked it up. She always much more of a following and notoriety in the UK and was virtually unknown in the US. She has quite a musical history.

This album was a nice surprise. A mix of folky rock, jangly Smiths guitar stylings, a little country, a little pop and the now trademark layered vocal arrangements, this album really delivered. I loved it. I wore out the cassette in high school and it has long since disappeared. So, a few years ago I looked to buy it on CD. It was out of print - and fairly expensive to buy new. We couldn't find it to download anywhere. I forgot about it until a couple months ago. I just HAD to hear it......

I was pleased to see that it was re-issued a couple years ago. So, I put in an order for it and Amazon said it would take at least a month to get, since it was a UK import. So, I canceled and ordered from a used seller - I waited two weeks and then got an email saying that they had miscounted their stock and didn't have it. So, I let it go again.......It went back up on my wish list and kept haunting me. I wanted to hear it so badly! So, a couple weeks again I tried with a used seller again......and then......

Today.....it appears in my mailbox. It was like opening a box of candy. I ran to my computer, ripped it onto my iTunes - so I could put it on my new iPod (birthday gift from Graham!). I am sitting here alone at home with the volume cranked, singing my head off with Kirsty, remembering back 15+ years ago when this album was worn out in my tape deck.......it has been remastered, has a great insert and sounds better than EVER! Oh, thank the heavens......it is bliss.

Kirsty was killed in an accident in 2000 - I still remember pausing for a moment when I saw the marquee above the big indie record store in St Louis acknowledging her passing.......I am glad to have her back on my CD player.

--

Here are the lyrics to her song "Fifteen Minutes" - oh how you could sing that about some of the young "divas" poisoning our media today......

Seven times in seven days
I've sat and wished my life away
I know the greyness comes and goes
But the sun don't shine
And the snow don't snow
There's Suzy-Ann with her tits and curls
Where mediocrity excels
For those vicious boys and their boring girls
You know it makes me sick but it's a bozo's world
Then there's always the cash
Selling yourself for some trash
Smiling at people that you cannot stand
You're in demand
Your fifteen minutes start now
City banker looks are in
The heartless heart, the chinless chin
And you'd spill your beans for just a pint of gin
How you got so holy
And became so thin
In Sunday papers every week
The silly words you love to speak
The tacky photos and the phoney smiles
Well it's a bozo's world
And you're a bozo's child
Then there's always the cash
Selling yourself for some trash
Smiling at people that you cannot stand
You're in demand
Your fifteen minutes start now
Then there's always the fame!
Autographs now and again
People who saw you on Blankety Blank
Or in the bank
Your fifteen minutes start now.

the providence of north carolina

Okay, it is nearing 100 degrees in Chicago this week. Our car has been without a blower fan on our a/c for some time. I was sitting in the coffee shop studying yesterday, dreading leaving because the heat was just unbearable. If you are moving, it's not that bad.....but this is Chicago and there is no such thing as free flowing traffic. So you end up standing still, as the car heats up faster than my oven pre-heats. It is miserable. So, I decided - I have had it! I am getting that thing fixed! So, I call a local Honda shop and price it and also decide to get the 225K tuneup on it.....I haggled a free rental car from them, since the cost kept skyrocketing. (It went even higher after they discovered an internal oil leak while doing the tuneup - ugh) Our car is old - but it has a lot of life left - it just needs a little pick me up. So, we are forking out the money to keep her on life support.

To get to the point......I have a rental car for a few days. It is a nice little itty bitty Kia Rio. So, I was running some errands in it yesterday afternoon (loving the a/c in it!) and when I emerged from Target, I walked to where I thought I had parked the car. Seeing a little Kia - but with North Carolina plates, I was very confused. I did a double take and looked around the lot, thinking - where is the car I rented?? So, I went up to the one with NC plates and peeked inside and saw my bag in there. I had no idea that I was driving a car with NC plates. For some reason I like driving with out of state plates. People tend to be more forgiving on the road, they assume you don't know what you're doing. So, throughout the afternoon I would remember - wow, I have North Carolina plates! I have no idea why I found this to be so entertaining, but I did.

Around 4:30pm, as I was driving Graham home I received a call from a YWCA advocate to see if I wanted to shadow a hospital call. I was hesitant, because I still hadn't dropped Graham at home and I was all dirty and sweaty. As I was about to say, "can't do it today" I was overcome with a feeling of....."what are you thinking? You need to get a shadow out of the way so you can start taking calls. It's not THAT out of the way. We are almost home.....go....go....go" and I said to the woman on the phone....."YES! I will be there!"

As I headed out to the hospital I "centered my chi" and did my ritual of breathing and prayer/meditation while in transit - like I used to do when I did hospital calls/rape victim advocacy in St Louis.

I can't divulge much information about the call, because of confidentiality.......but, after about 30 minutes with the assault victim and her family member, it came out that they had moved here from North Carolina. What a coincidence. As I left, I told the advocate I was working with about the North Carolina plates and my last words to her were, "what providence!"

As I pondered this coincidence on my way home, this intense feeling of peace came over me as I thought about how I felt this to be a divine message that I am exactly where I am supposed to be, doing exactly what I am supposed to be doing. This work has felt like a calling - a spirited, beautiful calling - for a long time now......and the gears in in motion for school, volunteer work, etc to keep all of this moving. I am so excited about the program Loyola.....so excited about working with women......and so excited that these plans I was once enthusiastic, yet hesitant, about now seem to be in full swing and it's happening!! I have faith and trust and so much joy about this path. It really is the BEST birthday present I could receive. This experience yesterday was like a little Birthday card from God saying, "I love you and am proud of you - work it girl!"

And I get to drive the Kia - my little Birthday card from God - for a couple more days!

thirty three years and one wicked stepmom

Wow, it is hard to believe I am 33 years old today! Almost one third of a century. My health has been deteriorating significantly over the last year, and I am making a commitment to be in ideal shape and health by the 34th! YES!

I have received a number of very kind birthday greetings from so many sweet friends and family. However, old habits die hard when I found a snarky, critical post it note stuck on the inside of my birthday card from my dad, written by my stepmom. I don't even know if my father knows that she does those things. But, I emailed him this morning and let him know that I didn't appreciate it. I asked why a gift couldn't just be given in the spirit of love and kindness, without attached criticism thrown in. I don't get it. I mean, I do - I have known that woman long enough. I know she doesn't like me or the idea of my existence......but, just let it go for one day lady.

It was because of a similar action that caused me to be estranged from my father for YEARS. So, I find it shocking during a moment in time where we have been making progress on healing a VERY broken relationship, that these things continue. It makes me sad, but I also am not surprised and just have to let it go. She was critical of my returning to school and how I need to get a "career". She has no place to criticize me. She hasn't been involved in ANY aspect of my life for YEARS......she has no place, no room, no right to go there. These decisions are between me and my husband and our families who offer us love and support. I hadn't spoken to her in YEARS until my grandmother's funeral a month ago. While our conversation wasn't exactly comfortable, I thought that maybe we broke some new ground to move forward - at least to allow me room to have some access to my father. Like I said....old habits. It was just a short note, but the baggage it carries with it is immense.

I did send a note to my father thanking him for his card and gift - but I did mention the note and how it hurt my feelings. If he wasn't aware of those things before, he will be now. Our relationship is so broken, what does it hurt to be honest now. And if I am not honest about this stuff now - we will have no room to keep mending. Get it out and let it go.......

in memoriam of the katherine that was

I was digging through an old web account today where I had stored photos while I was in college. I hadn't seen this one in a long long time. Here I am taking a photograph at my hotel balcony in Havana, Cuba. I can tell I am smiling, likely because Karen, who took this photo, was likely trying to distract me. This trip was in June/July 2002 - my mother sent me on it as a part of my graduation present. It was a trip that changed my life and put such an intense love of Cuba in my heart.

This photo makes me smile, but is also makes me really sad. It seems like a lifetime ago and I was such a different person then. I liked myself back then. I was adventurous and outgoing. I had self-esteem and was confident and comfortable. These days? Not so much. It has been a downward spiral in that department since I moved to Chicago. I am not even sure I could tell you why. I am sure a good part of it has to do with isolation, loneliness and lack of community and connection. I have analyzed it ad nauseum without any real answers. I miss those days and I miss the me of those days.

2002 was one of the best years of my life as I graduated college and started graduate school. That summer was filled with travel, friends, family, new opportunities, critical mass, a lot of shows/concerts. It really was a major turning point in my development and direction.....I hope to reclaim some of what I have lost in recent years with a return to graduate school and engaging in community and work that matters.

all done

Wow - that dentist was a pro! He also looked like he hopped off the pages of GQ magazine - 30something handsome, botox, tan, "perfect" teeth (go figure) and all.....I got through the procedure with minimal pain. Getting the anesthetic shots was the worst part. I left with a very swollen face, mouth filled with gauze and feeling a little shaky and hot from the anesthetic. I can't eat solid food for at least a day, so I had a Frosty for lunch. I can't complain, though it was quite a feat to get it in my mouth and down the throat. I think I will have the same for dinner.....or maybe some chicken noodle soup - that sounds yummy!

The anesthetic is starting to wear off and the pain is now setting in. I can't take any of the vicodin until after I get Graham from work at 5. So, I just need to hold out a couple more hours. I bought a new book this morning while I was waiting for my appointment, Water for Elephants. So far it is a great read and I plan on hopping in bed with it as soon as I get Graham, take a shower, some meds and get in my pajamas!

I am thankful it is over and look forward better health overall! I hope this is a significant factor in eliminating my chronic headaches and dizziness!

L'Chaim!

bad tooth - good trip

This is about what the view looks like from my mother's back patio outside of Woodstock, NY. After some disappointing news today that I will not be traveling to St Louis this week to see her and some friends and to attend a wedding - she offered to fly me out to NY to spend some time with her before the summer is over. So, I will be leaving on the 6th and back on the 11th. I get crazy homesick for Graham when I am away from home, but I haven't been able to spend much time with my mom in well over a year. So, it will be so nice to have some quality time with her. I plan on studying during the day and then in the late afternoon and evenings partake is some nature hikes and cooking projects! My mom is returning to NY after a trip to CA to go to my Great Aunt Jean's memorial service. I will actually be on the same flight as her, since she is laying over in Chicago! Yay!

On the bad side of things.....the reason for the cancellation of my trip to St Louis is because I need to go to the oral surgeon tomorrow to have an infected tooth removed. Last night, as I was sleeping, a big chunk of my upper left wisdom tooth came out. I had suffered from a really intense migraine the entire day, had slept a majority of the day and night, and was nauseous and feverish......I thought it was just another migraine, like always, but I think that maybe these headaches I get so frequently might be attributed to this tooth. One can hope. My quality of life will improve tenfold once I can go a few days without dizziness and headaches. I have suffered from chronic headaches and dizziness for a long long time. So, I am inclined to think that it isn't just the tooth - but, I do hope that removing it will help.

For now, antibiotics and vicodin will get me through the night.

notes from the 'bou

I love Saturday's at Caribou Coffee ..... while it's always a relaxing place to be, Saturdays seem to be even more laid back.

Today, I have arrived.....the woman who works the espresso machine finally knows my name and I hers. My friend Rocky has asked a number of times, "do they know your name yet?" Now, I can answer with a resounding, "yes!"

Anyhow, the reason for this note from the 'bou is to document the short attention span winner of the week. A guy who is in here quite frequently is sitting a few tables from me watching a movie on his laptop AND reading a book......now, I am not sure how that works, but he seems to have it down. I keep trying to figure out what the movie is. It looks like some sort of science fiction film, and he is reading a science fiction paperback - so at least he is staying within genre.

I can't say much about my own attention span. For every 20 min I am studying, I am on the computer for 10.....

I also ran into Dave (who works for my previous employer) and his wife today. I always enjoy bumping into him. He is quick with a joke and thoroughly enjoyable to speak with. We came up with a new saying and joked about writing it down, for later use. It was a good one, too! Of course, I didn't write it down and now I can't remember it. D'oh!

when did george become king?

Executive Order: Blocking Property of Certain Persons Who Threaten Stabilization Efforts in Iraq

Please read this memo put out by the Bush Administration a few days ago. (click on picture) This executive order threatens the very foundation of law and protection provided for the citizens of the United States. Basically, if a citizen or group is found to be threatening to the Iraq effort they could have their property seized, by executive order. To me, this spells trouble for anti-war groups and others who speak out against the injustices perpetrated by this corrupt administration.

The righties always cry afoul when this administration is compared to Nazi Germany. However, lest they forget, the Third Reich came to power - and the Holocaust came about - not in one sweeping move, but by gradual, small actions to chip away at the rights of citizens. I can't help but see a connection with the actions of the Bush Administration over the last few years....and this move is abhorrent.

Please pass this link on.....it is important to get the word out.

happy dance

I got news today that I am receiving a 1/3 departmental scholarship!! Yes!

Things just keep looking up!

Now, if I could just land that assistantship.....

yay mama!

I am in the Caribou today, plowing through a book about slave resistance in nineteenth century Cuba. It is actually pretty darn interesting.....

But, I digress.... A few minutes ago, a woman comes and plops down in the seat next to me and picks up her baby from the pumpkin seat. She gets settled in with him, pulls out a blanket and a book and proceeds to nurse him while reading! It is so lovely to see a woman in public, nursing and looking so relaxed and content. Bless the mama!

hopeful hopeful

I have applied to a wonderful graduate assistant position working in the Women and Leadership archives. It looks like a most wonderful job - even if the commute would be a bit of a bear. I am really hopeful about landing this position. It pays pretty decent for part time work, but it is the experience I would most value. I am crazy qualified and think I have a decent shot at it.

I did a transit mapping of the commute from the Metra station and it isn't too bad - just two buses/50 min ride. So, the total commute would be 1.5-2 hours, but think of all the study time that would provide!

Fingers crossed!

oh, steve perry

Is it wrong to actually dig this song? If it's wrong, I don't wanna be right! I mean come on, you cannot deny it's greatness as a classic in the canon of 80's pop/rock history. I admit it, I have listened to it many a time in my car, windows up, volume up, rocking out!

This video is quite laughable - but it's like a trainwreck, you just can't look away. Muscle shirts, sunglasses, t-shirts and sportcoats, tight jeans! And what is with the keyboard player? I love the air-keyboard action and the "meow, I am going to pounce on you" move he throws in there from time to time.

It was indeed named the worst video of all time. But I would argue that it's the BEST worst video of all time!

Classic. Enjoy!

bellows in columbus

During the same phone call where I received the news of my great aunt's passing this morning, I also found out that there is a new Bellows exhibit up at the Columbus Museum of Art. I would really like to try and get over that way to see the exhibit. Maybe it could be a nice weekend drive/trip by the end of summer - before school starts. Graham and I were at that museum a couple years ago and I absolutely loved it. They have an amazing collection of the works of Aminah Robinson and Elijah Pierce - who I fell in love with on that visit. Their children's wing of the museum is beyond compare. It may be my favorite part museum I have ever been to.....okay, so it's not the Louvre or the Met in NY or the National Gallery in London (all of those were amazing!) but it is still my favorite. However, I may be a bit biased, since they have a large Bellows collection - and my name is indeed Katherine Bellows Stewart. :)

Link to the museum in the title of this post.

Here is a synopsis of the exhibit:

Well respected for his ability to capture the spirit and character of American life in the early twentieth century, George Bellows's paintings and drawings convey the liveliness and sport of a society defining itself in a new century. From the boxing ring to the seashore, his drawings have a vibrancy of line and energetic spirit that bring the scenes and times to life. The drawings in this exhibition, from the esteemed collection of the Boston Public Library, were collected and donated to that institution by Albert H. Wiggin. They were last shown as a collection in the 1950s, and only a few sheets have been exhibited publicly since then. This collection of drawings comprises preparatory works for paintings and lithographs. Also included are finished works that were intended for publication in magazines and newspapers. Their subjects range from intimate studies of the artist's friends and family to public sporting events, social gatherings, and other candid snapshots of American life, many recorded on assignments for popular magazines such as Harper's Weekly and The Masses. The Powerful Hand of George Bellows: Drawings from the Boston Public Library is organized by the Trust for Museum Exhibitions.

fare thee well my dear aunt jean

I got word this morning that my great aunt Jean passed away over the weekend. She had been ill for some time and I had not seen her in a good many years. She was the sister of my grandmother and daughter of the well known American artist, George Bellows. The image to the left is a lithograph of her as a child. She grew up in Woodstock, NY and then moved to NYC to pursue a career on the stage. She had bit parts here and there and was a staple in NY summer stock in the 1930's. She screen tested for Scarlett O'Hara and there are photographs of her (as a child) with Robert Taylor and the Gish sisters. We have some fabulous starlet photographs of her.

The last time I saw her was at a Bellows exhibit in Columbus, OH and that was almost ten years ago. Oh, how time flies.

Her passing has been long expected, as she has been in poor health for a good many years. But, it still gives me pause and the need to reflect on her life and the impact she had on my family. Bless you Jean, I hope they are serving up cocktails and mah-jong for you in heaven.

for graham

he's the best.

this could very well be the greatest 2 minutes in television history.

the perfect jeans?

I hate to be an agent for the dissemination of advertising - but I have to sing the praises of the new Lane Bryant jeans!! For us ladies with some curves, chub, and what have you - it can be very difficult to find the right kind of jeans! I have some pretty serious hips and quite the Buddha belly as well.....I have never fit well into Lane Bryant's jeans and was distraught when I no longer fit into the Gap ones I liked so much. So, I haven't been much of a denim wearer for the last couple years.

So, I was in Lane Bryant yesterday to get some jogging shorts - and saw their new jeans line in stock. I figured I would see how they worked - since it was a huge launch and I had heard a few things about the new sizing. They have 3 different body shapes and then a number of different cuts within the shape and then of course sizing within each shape/cut......I discovered a pair of jeans that actually sit on my hips like a glove! woah! No more buckling material in the back, causing the plumber booty!!

The only thing that keeps these from being the "perfect" jeans is the fact they still use stretch denim, which I don't like - though they are using a new fiber mix, which doesn't have the same elasticity as the old ones. I like my jeans firm and rigid - not all stretchy.....they aren't perfect. But, they are close.

I have to say - if you are in the plus size range and you need a good fit in your denim....go and try some on. The rest of the fashion industry needs to catch on. We ladies are not all shaped the same! Hallelujah Lane Bryant! They aren't your mother's Lane Bryant anymore.....remember when all they had were old lady clothes? yeeesh!

something to check out

A couple weeks ago, as I was semi-drugged with Tylenol PM, battling a raging migraine, I plopped myself in front of the tube and watched this beautiful film about Sesame Street around the world. I was so deeply heartened to watch the production process in action. Instead of taking the US version of Sesame Street, and dubbing it into "fill in the blank" language, they send people from the Children's Television Workshop to the country of development to work with people from that country. They act more as advisers instead of directors.

It was beautiful to watch groups of people discuss how they can best address the educational and safety needs of the children in their country. They are actively teaching tolerance and reconciliation between historically divided ethnic groups. One woman in this documentary says that while many children in Kosovo already have negative feelings towards one another, it is through this dialogue that we create more space and understanding for the next generation. This speaks to hope for the future and for peace.

I thought this project was beautiful, creative and in a way it is indeed revolutionary. Sesame Street in the US was revolutionary - created in the late 70's to assist low income children learn the ABCs and numbers, so they could be on pace with children who had the luxury of pre-school. Of course Sesame Street has become a marketing empire, but I really believe that it still holds true to its original goals and as it moves around the world into places where children are working at the age of six in trash dumps to help their family eat. Sesame Street is able to reach out to them and help them grow and develop. Even the muppets are developed with each culture's needs and traditions in mind. In South Africa there is a muppet with HIV, since HIV/AIDS is so prevalent in the everyday lives of so much of the population. I think it is wonderful that they are addressing it, instead of treating it like a silent ghost that the puritanism of the US doesn't want anyone to talk about. I remember the conservative backlash about this, back when the muppet was created.

Anyhow - click on the entry title for a link to the film - you may still be able to catch it on PBS, though it is also available on Amazon.

flying colors

Word has arrived from my professor.....I passed my second exam with "flying colors!" She hasn't sent a review to the other profs on my committee, but will be doing so soon - so I hope it has a little more feedback on it. I am actually pretty sad to be moving away from the material I have been working with. Finally having a grip on Foucault, and reading boatloads of Susan Bordo (who is my new HERO) has really had a significant impact on my life. I thought the preparation and exam would be like pulling nails......but, I really enjoyed all of it.

I am moving onto Cuban History on Monday - which is what my major was. I am pretty burned out at this point, but I hope getting back into Cuba will be a joy rather than a stress. I start Loyola in like 6 weeks - so I have to get as much of this stuff under my belt as possible before that starts. It's a pretty huge reading list.

Anyhow, here is the question for my 2nd exam.....good, good stuff......

--

I want you to connect Foucault’s notions of how we “know” historical events (his ideas of the “Archaeology of Knowledge”) with the development of feminist theory. Why would his basic questioning of the connection of the development between power and knowledge have led Judith Butler to focus on uncovering the importance of examining the previously unexamined categories (pre-discursive categories) of male and female? Here, I’m thinking of dominant and subaltern, male and female.

What was it in Foucault’s ideas that opened the door to feminist theorists to use his ideas of the ways in which the entrenched power of modernity structured power relations that also allowed feminist theorists to re-imagine another avenue for uncovering the gender biases inherent in patriarchy?

How does Susan Bordo take it a step further to focus on the female as body to “flesh out” (Foucault’s ideas of the “docile body”) the impact of gender designation in (post)modern Western culture? Even thought Foucault does not directly address females, how do his ideas of the rationalization of norms and the establishment of deviancy impact females in today’s society? How does Bordo understand those constraints?

oh the humanity

You know a book is going to be pretty trashy when a picture of the author fills the entire back cover with some Joan Collins wanna-be glamour shot.

I have no idea why, but ever since I saw Tina Brown, a gossip rag editor, on Larry King a few weeks ago I have had this curious desire to read her book on Princess Diana. I can't explain it. The whole idea of royalty repulses me, and the circus surrounding Diana, in life and in death, was ridiculous. However, I found myself browsing the books at Borders the other day and felt compelled to read it as a down time book over the next few days, while I gear up for exam number three.

So, Tina Brown is no pulitzer prize winning journalist - but I find myself in the grips of this tome on royalty, aristocracy, infidelity, gossip, etc.....I am not sure what the appeal is - and I am still not sure why I am reading it. If I ever figure it out, I will let you know.

two down

and one to go.....On Wednesday, I finished my 2nd MA exam. Word from my prof should come down later today as to how I did on it. I was able to crank out almost 9 pages (typed) in three hours. I have a few concerns about it - but feel pretty good. It was the scene that followed the exam that left much to be desired.

I could not get on the university's wi-fi to send the exam and had to run around and buy a CD-R and burn it, find a computer to send it from. The one in Starbucks didn't read the disc properly, so I ended up in IT and they were able to get it off the disc, get me online and get it sent. Whew. So, after 45 min of panic and rushing around like a chicken with my head cut off - I grab a Frappucino and head home. I stop by Borders, pick up a James Dean flick *sigh* and then stop over at my favorite pizza place for salad and pizza. I arrive home, and go to get out my laptop to find it is not in my book bag. I start panicking, trying to remember if I left it in IT or entertain the possibility of it been stolen from my car. It is late in the day and all of the IT people are gone by that point. So, to make a long story short - I spent the evening in an emotional state, very stressed and concerned.....and I get ahold of IT in the AM. They had it, I picked it up and hit the road.

I drove back to Chicago with my friend Jason yesterday, which was uneventful, but nice. We went to Gino's East for dinner and then went to a Chicago Fire game. I have never been to one and enjoyed it thoroughly. I have never been to a football (soccer) match outside of England, so it was cool to see an MLS game after all these years. It is by far the easiest sporting event for me to travel to in the Chicago area, and I definitely plan on going again. They have fairly inexpensive tickets and parking isn't too terribly expensive. We had great seats, the weather was absolutely divine, and despite a Fire loss, it was a great time.

Now, I am on "vacation" until Monday, when I start back into reading boatloads of monographs for my third and final MA exam on Cuban History. I plan on a weekend of relaxing, reading, finally watching that James Dean movie, etc.....I hope to get in a few walk/jogs and get back to some healthy eating.

In other news - my mother is seriously considering giving us her house in St Louis. This is mind boggling news. It is such a great townhouse, in a fabulous neighborhood and with great neighbors. I am pretty biased, seeing as I grew up there. But, it's a hop from the park (largest urban park outside of Central Park in NYC - great for walking, biking - and the art museum, zoo, history museum, etc are all in there!) and is very accessible to most of the city neighborhoods and downtown. I wish we could just move there now - but of course Graham has to finish Loyola, I am about to start a program at Loyola and I don't want to move Emily right now with her her school plan. But, we are looking at a 2 year plan and then moving down there. This isn't set in stone - but it is on the table. Oh wow. wow. wow.

Alright - a day of library, coffee, books, movies, etc awaits......hallelujah!

meet me in st louis

Oh, it is absolutely wonderful to be back in St Louis. I can't remember the last time I was here where I could just relax. It seems like we are always in and out over the course of a day or two. It has been so delightful to spend time with my friends and have quiet time at home. I have my mom's place all to myself.

I also can't remember the last time I had a couple days to myself. With the three of us living on top of each other in our teeny apartment, it is nice to have some space and quiet. However, I haven't been enjoying the nighttime much, as I get a little nervous and paranoid being here alone and in such a large space.

My 2nd MA exam is quickly approaching and will be done soon. Whew. And then back to Chicago with my friend Jason, who I am hitching a ride with.

In the last 2 and 1/2 days I have been able to dote on five little ones, do some serious car dancing with Dave, eat delish food, have intense conversations, hang out with a favorite prof, and spend time with beloved old friends. I am really hoping we will move back here in a couple years when we are both done at Loyola. St Louis is SO much easier to live in. Plus, I have such a wonderful abundance of friends here who I feel so close to and connected with. They are all pushing for us to come back. It feels nice to be missed and wanted. The only regret I have in recent years is the move to Chicago - though it was worth it in the long run, so I could be with Graham. I am tired of feeling so alone and isolated. Graham is definitely open to the idea of moving back here - but we will see what the school/work situation is at that point. I called him tonight and said, "I don't want to come home - I just want you to come here." I will be back in Chicago in less than 2 days, but will be back in STL in 2 weeks......so, that is something to look forward to.

still at home

at the Caribou. I have been working on MA comp stuff for three months now. Leading up to my first, I was in the Caribou almost every day. After I finished that exam in late May, I decided to make a change of routine. I now switch it up between Caribou and the library. The type of studying I am doing for my second exam is much different, so I value the large tables at the library where I can spread out a bit.

I am taking my 2nd exam next week - and am feeling pretty well prepared for it. I am feeling the crunch, but am more and more confident as the test approaches. I was terrified when I first got the exam focus last week.....but, after a week of studying on it, meditating on it, dreaming about it, etc......I am feeling more at home with the material and how I will tackle it in writing.

Beethoven's 9th was phenomenal - we enjoyed a "date" that evening, complete with Ethiopian food - we used the evening to celebrate our 3 years together. A few days after that I was blessed to be able to enjoy an evening of Mavis Staples and the Blind Boys of Alabama.....

It is so hard to believe it is already July. It is also hard to believe that this season's White Sox team could possibly be the worst team I have ever seen. Crikey.

9 is the magic number

It was almost sold out. I didn't want to miss it. The Chicago Symphony Orchestra is performing Beethoven's 9th at the end of June. All year I have been debating this. It has been a dream of mine for at least 10 years to see/hear this performed live. So, I broke down and bought two tickets. All performances are almost entirely sold out. The seats are vertigo inducing. But, it's about the sound - not the view, right? :)

I. cannot. wait.

*giddy!*

a little thursday afternoon rant

I am in Caribou Coffee studying some incredibly dense social theory. I am making progress, and am able to concentrate over the sounds of mumbled speaking and the espresso bean grinder - but a woman just came in with her (I would guess) 3 year old daughter and proceeded to plop a portable DVD player in front of her. The sound is loud enough for the entire shop to hear it.

Whatever happened to children being able to sit in a restaurant and draw, look at a book, play with a little toy.....do we have to have our children plugged in during all waking hours? Are we that selfish with our time that we have to shut up our kids with movies? Ugh. Never mind that the rest of the world might not want to listen to Disney movies. :P

Rant over. :)