now that it's all over....

I am really sick. Last night, I spent over 14 hours in bed, aching, sick and miserable. After a few weeks of insane amounts of work, non-stop verbal abuse from my child and coping with said child's bad decisions regarding boys and drugs - well, I crashed and I am still burning. I don't think I have ever had such a harsh physiological response to such intense psychological distress and depression. And what's interesting is how my body held out until almost literally I clicked the "send" button on my last paper re-write. Within hours I was nauseous, had intense abdominal cramps and my internal organs felt 6 times their normal size. Oh yeah, and my hands and feet were so sore it hurt to walk, knit, type, etc........it was all those high grade fever symptoms - but with no fever. Today, my body is weak and I am tired. However, I am a little better and at least I can knit. :) Inpatient hospital care has been on the table - but I am not sure how realistic this is on so many levels.

This coming week I will be picking up a few days at IVP. We need the money. Then, I am headed to STL on the 5th to spend some time with my mom, friends and kids. This is a MUCH needed respite. Graham and Emily will be coming to STL on the 9th for my SIUE graduation and we will return home together on the 11th.

We are still trying to figure out what to do with Emily over the summer. We actually are still considering long term residential care for her, which could last a year or two. Right now I am in such bad shape, I can't even decide what to eat, let alone make huge life altering decisions regarding my child's health and welfare. I hope we can come to some clarity within the next week or two.

Okay - good things? Hmmmm......the sun is out. There are blossoms on our bush out front and the trees are finally getting some green on them. I am thinking about trying a WW recipe for baked mac and cheese for dinner. I can knit. No papers to write or books to read. Cardinals won today. Oh yeah - and of course.....