oh fun....

this song plays second fiddle to a more famous one (Daydream Believer) also featured in the same Monkees episode....I would argue that this one's better - though it is basically a Kinks ripoff.

enjoy!



it's amazing the old school crud I watch on a Saturday night, whilst knitting unable to leave the sofa due to illness......so far I have watched The Partridge Family, Monkees and now Mork and Mindy is on.

now that it's all over....

I am really sick. Last night, I spent over 14 hours in bed, aching, sick and miserable. After a few weeks of insane amounts of work, non-stop verbal abuse from my child and coping with said child's bad decisions regarding boys and drugs - well, I crashed and I am still burning. I don't think I have ever had such a harsh physiological response to such intense psychological distress and depression. And what's interesting is how my body held out until almost literally I clicked the "send" button on my last paper re-write. Within hours I was nauseous, had intense abdominal cramps and my internal organs felt 6 times their normal size. Oh yeah, and my hands and feet were so sore it hurt to walk, knit, type, etc........it was all those high grade fever symptoms - but with no fever. Today, my body is weak and I am tired. However, I am a little better and at least I can knit. :) Inpatient hospital care has been on the table - but I am not sure how realistic this is on so many levels.

This coming week I will be picking up a few days at IVP. We need the money. Then, I am headed to STL on the 5th to spend some time with my mom, friends and kids. This is a MUCH needed respite. Graham and Emily will be coming to STL on the 9th for my SIUE graduation and we will return home together on the 11th.

We are still trying to figure out what to do with Emily over the summer. We actually are still considering long term residential care for her, which could last a year or two. Right now I am in such bad shape, I can't even decide what to eat, let alone make huge life altering decisions regarding my child's health and welfare. I hope we can come to some clarity within the next week or two.

Okay - good things? Hmmmm......the sun is out. There are blossoms on our bush out front and the trees are finally getting some green on them. I am thinking about trying a WW recipe for baked mac and cheese for dinner. I can knit. No papers to write or books to read. Cardinals won today. Oh yeah - and of course.....

...and back home.....

• Things are bad
  
• We are looking at a possible move to St Louis this summer
  
• I may transfer to St Louis University (MA in counseling and family therapy) and get a job
  
• things with Emily have gone from bad to worse
• We may be sending Emily to a residential care facility in Wyoming
• I am tired
  
• I just need to get through this week......please

update - things are calming down, a weeeee bit.

• a transfer to SLU is just not really an option as I wouldn't be able to start until Fall 2009 and would only be able to transfer in 9 credits. It would be foolish.
  
• for now, we aren't sending Emily to residential care, but are looking into possible outward bound type long term programs for the summer. Things are calm with her now, but still tenuous.
  
• I am managing to get through the week. I only have 2 more things to do - one more paper and one more presentation. I will do them both tomorrow. Actually, make that three things - I have to do a rewrite on a paper. Ugh.
  
• We are looking at getting a new car - well, new to us - a used Honda Accord......my old Accord is not doing so well these days. So, that's kind of neat.
  
• No immediate move to STL is in the works now - though we will most likely move there in 2 years. I can't wait to get the heck outta Chicago.
  

a very tired happy update

- I finished my MA in History today!! I did my defense and it went swimmingly......graduation, May 10!

- I went to a Cardinals game tonight and they won 11-1!! It was my first time inside the new Busch Stadium and it's beeeautiful, though some of the concourse shops/activities, etc are a tad crass and over commercialized.....can people not just go to a baseball game anymore for the BASEBALL??? I didn't leave my seat once ;)

- Susan Bordo who wrote my favorite book in the whole world is going to be a keynote speaker this fall at a philosophy conference at SIUE. My prof has suggested I submit a paper for presentation.

- I am going to another baseball game tomorrow.

- must sleep!

triathlon/fitness push update

I am also going to use this heading to track my weight loss goals - since I joined Weight Watchers a week ago.....I joined WW last Monday, and weighed in at the gym.

I weighed in today - I lost 4 pounds in less than a week. yahooooooo!

I managed to get my 1/2 mile freestyle in today and then some slower, breaststroke laps where I do a lot of stretching (it is bliss). I struggled through the laps, but it doesn't help that my goggles are broken and so I am swimming without them. My eyes are on fire. I also hadn't been to the pool since last Monday. So, after a few days off, it's a little more difficult. But, I am still doing well - though not making much progress on my time.

overload!!

Over the next two weeks, I have so much to do, I can't even think straight......however, I can check two things off my list and will keep updating as I go along. It will be nice to have it mapped out a bit.......Here's the scoop:

Yesterday
- Therapy Demonstration in Fundamentals: 30 min - finished!

Due Tues 15th
- short Human Development Paper on the issue of relational neurobiology and the concept of grace - finished!
- Big paper in Psychopathology paper on social construction, cultural location and rates of depression in women - finished!! (whew!)

Due Thursday 17th
- Big theology paper due finished!!

Friday 18th
-History MA defense in STL finished!!

Due Tuesday 22nd
- psychopatholgy take home final due (clinical evaluations and diagnoses) finished!
- in class human development group presentation (I am prepping the power point for this) finished!
- short paper due that correlates with the presentation finished!

Due Thursday 24th
- in class group presentation in theology (I am working on my written part now) finished!
- Big paper due in Fundamentals on advanced therapeutic techniques and skills finished!

--

In other news, I was able to get into the section of a class I wanted in the fall, so it opens up time for me later on the same day as the wanted section to take a class called Spirituality and Women's Whole Health. I am very excited about this one!

Graham is headed to a party tonight - I will be home studying. :P

this next month

My goodness.....the next month is going to be insane. So much to do, so little time. I just finished off a weekend packed with good food, good friends and good times. Robin came and stayed with us. Thursday night we hit up a yarn shop in the south loop and then Miller's Pub. We picked up some cake on the way home and watched MST3K while we binged on it. :)

Friday we met some other friends at Giordano's for lunch, hit up a plus size boutique on Damen and then picked up Graham for a party out in Winnetka. Loads out of out of town friends and some in town ones, were there for an evening of food, drink and live music. We didn't get home until 4am, so we got a late start on Saturday.....but made the trek to Ethiopian Diamond and Metropolis Coffee in Edgewater. Graham, Robin and I had a quiet Saturday evening, and watched more MST3K and more knitting was done.

Robin took off yesterday morning and I spent the day watching baseball, relaxing and went to a friend's house to work on a class project. Then, Sarah came over to my place for a cook out and we did some dream work and animal cards. Too fun!! Oh yes, and devil's food cupcakes were made - the vegan way - with a can of pumpkin. They are surprisingly delicious.

So, now....I am off work for the next couple of weeks to work on reading and MANY papers.....here's what the next month holds in store.

3 big papers and a few smaller ones (in the next 2 weeks)
wedding on the 13th
MA defense on the 18th
Cardinals games on the 18th and 19th! woo!
presentation on the 22nd
take home final due the 22nd
last day of the semester is the 24th (yes!)
Graham, Em and I are all going to STL for graduation on May 10
Mother's Day with my mom May 11th
Graham's birthday on the 13th

Of course a few things in there are going to be fun......but, I am feeling very overwhelmed. I am excited to have a Mother's Day with my mom for the first time in years. We used to have a Mother's Day tradition of going to a Cardinals game - but, I don't think the Cardinals are in town this year. Bummer.

I am almost finished with the cashmerino baby blanket for Jenna. I still have to piece it together, but have one patch left to knit - I hope it turns out as nice in real life as it looks in my head.

I haven't been to the gym since last Wednesday - which is a bummer - so, I need to get back in gear this week. I am also joining Weight Watchers.

So much to do, so little time - and yet I find time to procrastinate and blog...... c'est la vie.