Last winter I started training for the Danskin Women's Triathlon. This was a big goal and project to help me lose weight, get into shape and accomplish something big! I was doing so well with my swimming. I was doing my 1/2 mile freestyle every day and was about to move into training on my bike when Brad died. This totally threw me off the horse. I couldn't concentrate on training and had little energy and motivation to keep training and to concentrate on my weight watchers program (it takes a lot of cognitive energy and time to track food and re-calibrate eating habits). Well, time has passed, I am in terrible shape, gaining weight, etc and it's time.....time to get back on the horse.
Today is day one of going back to Weight Watchers. I am in STL, so no gym for me. But, when I return next week I am going to start back to the gym and get into the pool. The event was in July last year - so I am guessing it will be the same again this year. So, my training schedule will be as such: Jan/Feb in the pool; Mar/Apr on the bike; May/June working on my jogging - which will be QUITE the challenge. I have never been a good runner, even when I was young and thin. I am hoping that four months of swimming and cycling along with weight watchers will help me lose a significant amount of weight so the running will come more easily. So, yeah! New Year - New Goals!
I will be very happy to see 2008 fall into the past. It's been a bad year. No, a horrible year. No, a disastrous year!!! But, I am feeling good about the year ahead. Emily is safe and working hard on her program. Graham has a job. I am nearing the final stretch in my MA program at Loyola. Graham and I are both falling into a comfortable place in our church community. A move back to STL is on the horizon. I am feeling ready to jump back into concentrating on my health and fitness. We are blessed.
Christmas is going to pass without much fanfare this year. This is the way I want it. I can't even believe it's a few days away. I have been spending so much time working in the shelter and spending time with my dear STL friends - time has flown by. I am looking forward to spending Christmas Eve and Day at the shelter. I have made some good friends there and look forward to playing card and dice games, knitting with some of the women and enjoying their company.
2009? *deep breath* bring it on.
Saturday, December 20, 2008
Friday, December 05, 2008
all done!
Approximately 7 minutes and 32 seconds ago I hit the send button on an email with my last paper of the semester attached to it. Hallelujah! I am starting to set new records in the paper writing department. Last Sunday I wrote 12 pages in 4 hours and today 11 pages in about 5 (probably less considering procrastinating exercises like smoking, cleaning, websurfing, facebooking, etc). Is this due to any progress in my writing ability? Not likely.....it's more due to the fact that I am just burned out, going through the motions and finishing as quickly as possible. That said, this semester has been fairly easy compared to some other ones I have muddled through. I am sure the fact that I have, personally, had a few difficult months adds to the burn out.
Don't get me wrong I love school - I love reading - I don't even mind the short writings. But, I am burned out on the long papers. Luckily, I only had three all semester. In my Women and Spirituality class I was able to do a lot of really interesting reading and research - but instead of a seminar paper, I was able to give a lecture on my findings. It went really well, too. :) However, that power point presentation may have taken me longer to put together than a big paper - but it was more creative, therefore it eliminated some of the anxiety and stress surrounding it, making it more enjoyable.
So, yes, I am officially finished with Fall '08 at Loyola. It's hard to believe I have been at Loyola for a year and a half now. Wow.
We had a lovely potluck dinner following class last night in my Spirituality and Women's Whole Health class. I spent the day huddled in a Starbucks downtown yesterday, instead of my usual Thursday routine which has a little more outdoor time, in transit. It was just tooooo cold. I usually go to my friend's condo on Thursday nights, while I wait for Graham to get out of class. Nope. Too cold. I went to the library and played on my laptop.
I am now gearing up for my trip to St Louis for three weeks......I am really looking forward to this. With all of the emotional messiness in recent days, it will be nice to be down there are staying busy at the shelter and spending so much time with mom and friends. It will be nice to be with people who "get it" and offer empathy and support during these difficult times. I don't want attention or pity - there's no need for either - but the times when friends and my mom have just said, "this must be hard for you," have offered me more comfort and solace than I can explain. Those nuggets of empathy are golden.
For now, I am staring at 3 days of glorious nothingness!! I will be working on knitted Christmas presents (shhhh can't disclose anything here!) and watching a pile of movies I have from the library (Baby Mama, Georgy Girl, Lilith and Intolerable Cruelty - wow a Coen Bros movie I haven't seen!) Speaking of Coen Bros - Blood Simple is on the new all movie channel I discovered, tonight!
I am off to find snacks and pay some attention to some dishes that have been greatly neglected.
Don't get me wrong I love school - I love reading - I don't even mind the short writings. But, I am burned out on the long papers. Luckily, I only had three all semester. In my Women and Spirituality class I was able to do a lot of really interesting reading and research - but instead of a seminar paper, I was able to give a lecture on my findings. It went really well, too. :) However, that power point presentation may have taken me longer to put together than a big paper - but it was more creative, therefore it eliminated some of the anxiety and stress surrounding it, making it more enjoyable.
So, yes, I am officially finished with Fall '08 at Loyola. It's hard to believe I have been at Loyola for a year and a half now. Wow.
We had a lovely potluck dinner following class last night in my Spirituality and Women's Whole Health class. I spent the day huddled in a Starbucks downtown yesterday, instead of my usual Thursday routine which has a little more outdoor time, in transit. It was just tooooo cold. I usually go to my friend's condo on Thursday nights, while I wait for Graham to get out of class. Nope. Too cold. I went to the library and played on my laptop.
I am now gearing up for my trip to St Louis for three weeks......I am really looking forward to this. With all of the emotional messiness in recent days, it will be nice to be down there are staying busy at the shelter and spending so much time with mom and friends. It will be nice to be with people who "get it" and offer empathy and support during these difficult times. I don't want attention or pity - there's no need for either - but the times when friends and my mom have just said, "this must be hard for you," have offered me more comfort and solace than I can explain. Those nuggets of empathy are golden.
For now, I am staring at 3 days of glorious nothingness!! I will be working on knitted Christmas presents (shhhh can't disclose anything here!) and watching a pile of movies I have from the library (Baby Mama, Georgy Girl, Lilith and Intolerable Cruelty - wow a Coen Bros movie I haven't seen!) Speaking of Coen Bros - Blood Simple is on the new all movie channel I discovered, tonight!
I am off to find snacks and pay some attention to some dishes that have been greatly neglected.
Wednesday, December 03, 2008
I have awesome friends
Awhile back I was brainstorming about gift ideas for all of the girls in Emily's program. I wanted to knit something for them, and at the time I was also thinking about how I wanted to make some homemade soaps. So, I decided to knit washcloths and make soaps to go with them. Realizing that 14 washcloths was a tall order, I put the call out to some knitter friends, Robin and Christy, to see if they wanted to help out and donate some of their beautiful handiwork. Not surprisingly, they said yes!! I am so touched by their effort and dedication. We got 14 finished! The soaps are tucked inside.Additionally, our friend Melissa wanted to do something but she isn't a knitter. (We keep telling her it's never too late to start!) She does do beautiful work with beads, though! So, she made the girls some beautiful beaded bookmarks and there are trinkets on the ends of them. Soooo lovely. This picture is of the bundles after I prepared them to be shipped off for Christmas!
Just seeing them reminds me of what wonderful friends I have - beautiful souls, each one!! I hope the girls like their goodies!
look what I learned to do!
Yeah! I learned to crochet! I had to get back on that horse. I actually bought a book and was sitting on my sofa teaching myself to crochet when I received the phone call that Brad had died. My first big crochet project was this small afghan that I made for Brad's father's 70th birthday. I managed to finish it in time for the big surprise party that was thrown for him. I am not sure if I ever want to crochet a granny square - ever again. But, I was pleased with my first attempt and had few problems. I learned quickly, but also had a good teacher. I took a one hour lesson from Carrie, who teaches crochet at String Theory Yarn Co. in Glen Ellyn.
it's been too long
Wow. I haven't blogged in months. Winter break is approaching and I will have a lot more time on my hands. I might give in to the blog temptation. Let's see......I guess to start back into my blogging life I should start with some dots.
- I am wrapping up the fall semester. I was in three classes this semester, all of which were pretty decent. I am pretty much finished, though still have to wrap up one more paper, due this Friday. I was fortunate to take a class with a woman who may be one of the best profs I have ever had. She is more than a teacher, but has been a mentor to me. Her class had a radicalizing effect on me: theologically, politically, socially, etc. I had had those radicalizing moments in past classes - reading Angela Davis in my freshman year in college, reading Bordo and Foucault in grad school - but she expanded me even further. She is one of the most amazing human beings I have ever had the pleasure to know. I could listen to her lecture for hours. She is retired, so she doesn't teach multiple classes each semester. However, I am one lucky lady, she is teaching another class in the upcoming Winter semester. I am in.
- Emily is away in residential program in Wyoming. It's so incredibly hard having her gone, especially at the holidays, but she is doing well. Things have been so hard since Brad died, and she was getting into some pretty self destructive behavior. We find out more and more as time goes on and she opens up. I am glad she is healthy and safe, but my heart just aches.
- The last few weeks have been particularly difficult - I have been physically sick (strep throat and a nasty cold) and feeling really down, emotionally. The tears come easily these days.
- I am so thankful for Graham's unwavering love and support. While it sometimes seems like we are ships passing in the night, our relationship is as strong as ever and I am always thankful just to be in his presence. It's nice to married to my bestest friend. :)
- I am headed to St Louis in a week! I will be there for about 2 1/2 weeks. I will be working most weeknights at the women's homeless shelter that housed in my mom's church. Some evenings I will work dinner and leave at 10pm. Other nights I will be staying there all night. Graham will come down with the dog on the 19th and we will drive home on the 27th. We are going to be working at the shelter overnight on Christmas Eve and the evening shift on Christmas. With Emily gone, I really need a distraction, and maybe this will start a new tradition! I am looking forward to it.
- I am also looking forward to time with mom, friends and their kids in St Louis. I am planning an Aunt Katie trip to the art museum with Callie's daughter, my dear little Esther. We will be joining my friend Robin and her 5 year old, Clara Jane. I am really excited about getting some Auntie time in. Robin and I are also planning a knit-in, with Golden Girls episodes saved on her DVR!
- Oh yeah, speaking of the Lou - we are planning on moving back to St Louis! YES!! While I am certainly content and comfortable in my little corner of the world, outside of Chicago - I am not really a fan of living here. St Louis is so much more my speed. We weighed a few options and St Louis really is the best one. I have connections for jobs, there are good law schools for Graham, I know the school systems well (for Emily), it's a heckuva lot cheaper to live there, and when Em comes back from Wyoming we want to give her a clean slate. We will either be moving into my mom's townhouse, or looking at houses in Webster. It's still a long ways away - so we'll see how it plays out.
- We will be traveling in mid January to see Emily in Wyoming. I am really looking forward to this.
- I continue to be thankful for my friends in Chicago, St Louis and across the country. They have really reached out to me and have been so kind and understanding during the difficulties of this year. You know who you are. I wish I could say the same for most of my family.*shrug*
- Oh yeah! I will be interning in Milwaukee in two programs. Most of my time will be spent working in a holistic healing center for women who have suffered sexual assult or childhood sexual abuse - I will also be doing some acute crisis work with assault victims in the emergency room. I visited last week and was really impressed with the program and with the people I spoke with. I don't start until June or July, but am already so excited. I am so ready to be finished with the program and get working. Most of my coursework will be finished after this spring. I will have a couple classes in the fall and spring next year - but they are courses that coincide with my internship. No, I am not moving to Milwaukee (though it would be nice) but I will be staying a couple nights with my friend Judy. It's nto a bad drive, either. There are days it takes me longer to commute within Chicago than the time it took me to drive to Milwaukee.
- I continue to knit and knit! I am so addicted. However, my etsy shop never really got going. I did sell a bunch of commissioned baby sets - but I tired of them rather quickly. I have a number of projects on the needles right now - mostly Christmas gifts!
- I have been watching a lot of movies from the library and seasons of The Office on DVD.
- Every Thursday evening I go to my friend Sarah's condo in Rogers Park after I get out of class at the North Shore campus and get take out and watch The Office at 8pm. Yes, I am hooked. It is a highlight of my week. I love having a key to her place - home away from home, indeed! xo (she has AWESOME cats, too!)
- I am reading American Wife by Curtis Sittenfield - after some pretty heady reading this semester, it's nice to sink my teeth into such a juicy beach read!
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